5 Things you can't say in Toronto

For my fellow Canadians, here is a funny little piece in Toronto Star today that you might get a few chuckles from, as long as you don't take it seriously. I'm proud of Canada and Toronto. Us Canadians are nice and humble people, and can laught at ourselves sometimes.

May's Esquire magazine features an article called Critical Blasphemy in which author Mike D'Angelo lists five things you can't say in Hollywood.

Example: Documentaries are watchable in inverse proportion to how informative they are. The Queen is a mediocre TV movie and Helen Mirren wasn't even all that great in it. And Spike Lee's best movie of the past 15 years is one he did primarily about white people.

Following the same template, we replaced Hollywood with Toronto to compile our own brief list of unmentionable rebukes about the things you are permitted to think, but must never say outloud.


"The CN Tower is the tallest standing building in the world." It's not true. It is the tallest free-standing structure but not for long. In 2008, the Burj Dubai in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, will be the tallest freestanding structure and building at more than 800 metres. And hello, it could be argued that Yonge St. is not the longest street in the world, either.


"The Toronto Maple Leafs will never again win a Stanley Cup." The team hasn't won one since 1967. And it doesn't seem to matter. They still sell out every game and millions tune in every time they hit the ice. Can you say, "city of suckers"?


"Toronto is not a world-class city." Likewise for Toronto the clean. Toronto the good. Toronto the city of culture. New York is world-class.


"Toronto is no more diverse than any other world metropolis." It is an urban myth that the UN declared Toronto the most diverse city in the world. Where did it say that?


"The real estate bubble is going to burst." Telling a homeowner that the market will fall and fall hard is blasphemy.

(Source: thestar.com)